I sell my breast milk
Sunday 1st March 2009
Gemma Dunn, 32, from Ewell, Surrey, has hit upon a novel way of beating the credit crunch
Do you think that's him?' I asked my mum, eyeing the businessman. 'He's younger than I expected.'
All I knew about the man I'd come to meet was his name was Craig. That, and the fact that he wanted to buy my breast milk.
It had all started in November last year, when my daughter, Kemi, was just a few weeks old. I was moaning to my mum, Linda, 57, about being skint. I only had my maternity pay from my job as a special needs teacher and it wasn't enough.
'After the bills have been paid, there's nothing left,' I grumbled.
'You could sell your breast milk,' Mum joked. 'You've got plenty of that going spare!'
Perhaps it was something to do with my 36G boobs, but I'd always been an over-producer.
Once, when Kemi's brother, Loki, now 6, was a baby, I'd sprayed the whole inside of our car during a feed. Now, I stored as much as I could in the freezer, but I still ended up throwing loads away. So maybe Mum's suggestion wasn't such a crazy idea…
'Worth looking into,' I agreed, typing sell breast milk into Google. To my surprise, I got lots of results.
Apparently, there's a fetish called ANR, 'Adult Nursing Relationships'. Grown men who like to be breastfed. But there was no way I was letting a stranger near my boobs! Then I read that some of the men were turned on by the idea of just drinking breast milk from a bottle. I'm not a judgmental person. These people weren't hurting anyone.
'Better than throwing it away,' I decided. It didn't take me long to find Craig's ad. "I want to buy breast milk. Will pay £1 per fluid ounce."
I haggled him up to £10 for 200ml and arranged via email to meet him in Surbiton, Greater London. How will I know it's you? I asked. Craig sent me a photo of a phone box. I'll be by this, he explained.
I took Mum along, and now, heart pounding, I walked up to him. This was mad. I felt like I was selling drugs, not milk! I'd expected a odd-looking little man. But he was an ordinary thirtysomething in a suit.
'Are you Craig?' I asked nervously.
'Yeah,' he said, passing me a £20 note in exchange for 400ml of milk in a freezer bag.
Walking away, I felt relieved. I hadn't felt unsafe at all. That night, I bought Kemi's dad, Roland, 40, and I a Chinese takeaway with the money. I didn't tell him where it came from. Roland's quite strait-laced.
After Christmas, money was tight again, so I went back to Craig.
Fancy any more? I typed.
I suppose it'll taste of mince pies at the moment, he replied.
More like Quality Street! I typed back.
After selling a second batch to Craig, I advertised on different sites, but I knew I couldn't keep it a secret from Roland any longer.
'I've been selling my breast milk to men,' I admitted. He just went quiet. I could tell he wasn't angry, though. He knew we needed the money.
Soon after, I arranged to meet a man whose email name was 'Kinky'. When I got to the meeting point with Mum, there was only one man there. He did a double-take when he saw me, but he didn't come over. I left after 10 minutes without making the drop. Well, I could hardly go over and ask: 'Are you Kinky?' could I?
I had some worrying emails, too. A few men wanted me to breastfeed them. Of course, they got a straight no. Another wanted to know all about my breasts. He got deleted, too. The emails weren't all sexual, though. One French lady wanted to feed the milk to her sick grandma.
Research suggests it can help people with weakened immune systems, she explained. The most random query was someone emailing to ask whether breast milk was low fat, as they wanted to make hash cakes with it! Other people emailed to say I was sick and disgusting. But they'd obviously searched for breast milk for sale to find my ad! I've only made £200 so far, but even that's been a real help. Some people might not agree with me selling my milk. But I think it's a harmless way to make a bit of extra cash.
After all, aren't all men obsessed with breasts?